This entry is part of the Diary of an Anime Lived series.
Like most people, I was amused watching episode eight of Sora no Woto. That silly Kanata can’t do “number one” without a bathroom. Oh my, how quaint!
This screenshot seems de rigeur.
It was Saturday morning, so I was eating a full breakfast: eggs and bacon, lots of fruit, toast with peanut butter and marmalade, and a pot of tea. Delicious. After the episode, I decided on a whim to catch a bus to Kobe. En route, out of curiosity, I purchased a Sakura Frappuccino from Starbucks, which was actually kind of cinnamony. I also ate some Pocky in lieu of lunch.
I found a movie theater and saw that I was too late for Nanoha (darn), but that I could still catch a showing of Fate/Stay Night: Unlimited Blade Works (brilliant). While waiting, I stopped by Nankinmachi and bought a few egg rolls for dinner. They were a bit stale, but they hit the spot. I washed them down with a Coke Zero.
By the time I got back to the theater, a whole day of eating very rich foods finally caught up with me. I had to go. I found the bathroom next to the concession stand. It was large, but quite clean, and it didn’t look like anyone would be coming in for a while. Perfect. I made my way to the stall at the end of the room. I opened the door and looked in, and I saw what was there.
I backed away and shut the door. I opened it and looked again, just to make sure. But my eyes didn’t deceive me.
It was a Japanese-style toilet.
Hmm, I thought. This is a predicament. But, nope! No, no, no. There’s simply no way… I mean, for goodness sake, you’re squatting like…
But I have to. I must. It’s reaching critical mass. I mean really, Japanese people use these all the time, so why am I so hesitant? It’s not so bad; it isn’t like this is just a hole in the ground. There’s plumbing and a drain and everything. All I have to do is get in there and…
I— I, can’t. I won’t! They can’t make me do this! This is barbaric!
Just as I was weighing the options (A – use that thing, B – soil myself, C – die of kidney failure), I saw my salvation to the right: A handicapped stall, complete with western-style toilet! I did a quick thank-you to the Goddess of Mercy, and I did my business in peace. But how would this have been resolved if I didn’t get that easy out?
It’s been a long time since psychoanalysis was considered a science, or even right about most things, but Freud got one thing on the nose: Toilet training in western society can really mess you up.
Kanata. Girl, sweetheart, darling. I get you. I so get you.
March 8, 2010 at 2:37 pm
That’s strange. I’d think you’d have more exposure to Japanese-style toilets, being in Japan. Does that mean they’re less common than Western ones?
March 9, 2010 at 8:51 am
In public environments, it’s about fifty-fifty. Often bathrooms will have both types, alternating by stall. I’ve been exposed to them often, but I think I’ve done a good job at avoiding them, especially considering the schools I teach at were built in the fifties.
This was a special case: I was three hours from home.
Fun times. Thanks for reading.
March 9, 2010 at 5:15 pm
I read somewhere that squatting is a more natural position for moving your bowels (our ancestors didn’t have sitting toilets to begin with), and has less tendency to cause hemorrhoids. So I guess there’s a bit of rationality to squat toilets, after all.
March 8, 2010 at 2:37 pm
Whoa, I never knew their toilets are like that!
Should I feel better that I’m completely westernized in my toilet training? I do remember having to use a chamber pot as a small kid…
March 9, 2010 at 8:48 am
Well, the Philippines has a very clean bathroom culture. Even before bidets were invented, you guys were using that water spout thing (the name of which I forgot, sorry) to clean afterwards, which is much, much more sanitary than any form of paper. I think any dirtiness just comes as a consequence of being in a poor area, and in that case it can’t really be helped.
Ideally, we ought to be able to poop anytime, anywhere, no problems. But I clearly can’t, so as a nod to Freud, I was originally going to call this entry “Getting Anal with Sora no Woto.”
Thanks for reading.
March 8, 2010 at 2:59 pm
I had to suffer through those things whenever I visited my family in India. I was even worse off for three reasons. First, India has a much higher proportion of those hole-in-the-floor toilets. Second, India is a much dirtier country that the US or Japan. Third, I was always guaranteed to get sick within three days of stepping off the plane, and I would remain sick the whole time until I left. In other words, I was using those holes-in-the-floor a lot.
March 9, 2010 at 8:43 am
You poor dear. That’s… really all I have to say. I’m so sorry.
But hey, India. I think that’s rad, overall.
Thanks for reading.
March 8, 2010 at 4:44 pm
So you’ve been avoiding Japanese-style toilets all this time? I tried to when I was in Japan, but a number of times it was my only option, usually at temples and shrines. If it’s just a quickie I don’t mind, but anything longer than that and my legs start to hurt from squatting. It’s even worse when the bathrooms don’t provide toilet paper either. Surprisingly, I noticed that some Japanese people avoid these toilets too, i.e., while waiting in line for a stall, they’d let others go ahead of them if the only toilet open was Japanese-style. One time I had to go really bad in Asakusa and the only toilet available was a single-stall Japanese-style toilet with no toilet paper. Thank goodness I was smart enough to always have a tissue pack on me!
I don’t know how Japan’s many elderly people can squat like that. Maybe they’ve built up certain leg muscles from sitting in seiza all those years.
Throughout that I episode I was silently shouting at Kanata to just swallow her dignity and go in that bucket or anywhere. A little embarrassment in front of your friends isn’t worth damaging your body.
March 9, 2010 at 8:41 am
I haven’t traveled long enough to merit much use of public restrooms. Just day trips and the occasional overnighter, and normally the places I go have western toilets somewhere.
>>Maybe they’ve built up certain leg muscles from sitting in seiza all those years.
Or, more relevantly, maybe they’ve built up the leg muscles from doing their business like that their whole lives.
As far as the episode goes, eventually Kanata’s body should have recycled the urine. It’s not healthy, but it happens all the time when you don’t want to get up to pee in the morning. But I guess all that cider threw a wrench in things.
March 8, 2010 at 5:10 pm
Hee, hee hee! I ran into one of those dreaded toilets while leaving Lake Chuzenji and heading back to Tokyo.
I held it in!
Luckily I did find a store with a western toilet somewhere in Gunma (I was on a bus so my choice of stops were very limited) Thank God I didn’t have to wait until I got to Shinjuku station!
Especially with Tokyo rush hour traffic being brutally long both coming and going.
I’m sorry but I know your (her) pain.
March 9, 2010 at 8:36 am
Good old Gunma: Drift racing and western toilets just in the nick of time.
At the same time, I mean, it’s not healthy, holding in. I think if that handicapped stall magically were not there that night, this entry would have been very, very different. Or maybe just five words more: “And then I did it.”
Thanks for reading.
March 8, 2010 at 5:18 pm
This is how I felt about Porta-Potties when tailgating at college football games. Who would want to use those things? Gross.
But sometimes you just have to suck it up … so to speak.
March 9, 2010 at 8:33 am
Ugh, porta-potties. Just thinking of them makes me shiver. Squat toilets are much less shudder-worthy, but I still don’t want to use them if I can help it.
Yes, someday I think I will have to suck it up. But not yet.
Cheers.
March 8, 2010 at 5:33 pm
I ROFL’d, but I do feel your pain.
Hell no I could not take a shit in one of those toilets. I actually can’t picture doing it in my head. I’d say taking a shit takes about 10 minutes on average for me – am I supposed to remain crouched like that for 10 minutes? I don’t think I have the strength. If I tried to do a rush job, the position would be awkward, and I’m sure my ‘ass would get stage fright’
I also imagine that you have to take your pants off completely, lest risk them somehow either getting water or shit on them in some way. And while it’s not a necessity, I like to take my shirt off when I take a shit. Not a chance with one of these.
I imagine you can’t even read in that position. Not without a constant fear of your book falling in the toilet.
Fuck that shit.
March 9, 2010 at 8:32 am
Yeah, toilet-shy, exactly. Even if it’s healthier and possibly quicker on average, it would take my body forever to get used to the position. And that was time I did not have right then– If this was “24,” you’d get that ominous ticking sound and a split-screen between the toilet and me, freaking out like the pampered American I am.
Bathroom habits are funny. I hear many people have to do it naked, for some reason. And Konata’s dad just had to keep the door open, which, now that I live in a tiny Japanese apartment, I still don’t condone but at the same time I understand.
Thanks for reading.
March 8, 2010 at 5:35 pm
Oh, and of course I’ll be adding this to the diary~ Glad to finally have a comedy entry XD
March 9, 2010 at 8:26 am
Excellent. Thanks.
March 8, 2010 at 5:54 pm
Lol, that was hilarious, and I always wondered how Westerners react to those Asian toilets.
They’re far more common in the rest of Asia than in Japan IIRC, where most public bathroom toilets in facilities not built in the last ~5 years are almost guaranteed to use one of those since they’re easy to clean. Private ones are another story xD
March 9, 2010 at 8:26 am
I think it’s a rare, pragmatic westerner (or one who’s been there a while) who reacts just fine to these toilets. They look to me like urinals that have been kicked over, which must explain why doing number two in them seems so undesirable.
But I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before we do this death-dance again, me and the Asian toilet, and it will probably win.
Thanks for reading.
March 8, 2010 at 7:02 pm
I didn’t realize Japan was so uncivilized.
March 9, 2010 at 8:24 am
Well, I wouldn’t call it uncivilized. Really, it’s perfectly clean, with porcelain and plumbing and running water (the force even seems more effective than that of a western toilet, just judging by a test flush).
It’s just that you get trained a certain way, and thereafter anything else just seems so alien and wrong. You know? Thus the tie-in with Sora no Woto 8.
Thanks for reading.
March 8, 2010 at 9:31 pm
Ah, man, that hit that spot. You just made my day, sir.
(I told you you’re an awesome writer).
March 9, 2010 at 8:20 am
You’re too kind, friend.
Thanks for reading.
March 8, 2010 at 9:43 pm
By the way, I hope the walls in those stalls touch the ground? Seems like in the US, walls keep getting further from the ground and ceiling, because i guess whoever builds stalls is the cheapest fucker alive. But I couldn’t see using one of those toilets without a full wall.
March 9, 2010 at 8:19 am
Yes, that’s one definite advantage of Japanese public restrooms. All the way to the bottom, often very close to the ceiling also, compared to the US. I heard some women’s restrooms even have a flushing noise button. They love their privacy, and I love them for it.
March 8, 2010 at 10:10 pm
I’m glad this blog is not above toilet humor.
March 9, 2010 at 8:18 am
I’m glad, too. Scatology is a fascinating subject, especially since it’s such a taboo in day-to-day conversations in the west. But everybody poops, you know?
Thanks for reading.
March 8, 2010 at 11:02 pm
I had to use those squat toilets while I was in Vietnam some years ago. My family resides in the country and they had a crude squat toilet over a pond full of goldfishes. The structure was like a small bridge but with a hole in the middle where you would do your business. The drop would be about 1-2 meters down.
March 9, 2010 at 8:15 am
That sounds wonderfully economical. I heard Prince Charles’ toilet runs through a natural filtration system of reeds cultivated on a riverbed. I do feel sorry for the goldfish, though.
Thanks for reading.
March 9, 2010 at 1:42 am
Back when I was in China, I avoided those things like the plague too. I once ran from the building I was in to my room in the dorm on the ninth floor just because I wanted to use a Western-style toilet. I hear that these squat-down toilets are more natural and facilitate smoother movement though.
March 9, 2010 at 8:14 am
Yes, probably. Human beings probably used to do it this way instinctively before westerners developed and spread their western toilet ways, so there must be some merit to it.
But, you know, training. We’re like Pavlov’s dogs that way. Cheers.
March 9, 2010 at 1:51 am
I remember having to shit in a hole in the ground, while I was in Korea. It was one of those outdoor ones too, so it was poorly maintained. I wanted to cry.
March 9, 2010 at 8:13 am
Well, that’s a bit different. At least this flushes and everything.
It’s just such a bizarre position that I didn’t know what I was going to do with myself.
I would want to cry too, for what it’s worth. Cheers.
March 9, 2010 at 2:04 am
Just curious but has anyone that has commented been camping/backpacking before and taking care of business without even a hole already there? Like over a log or something. Now that is unpleasant.
March 9, 2010 at 8:11 am
No, can’t say I have.
You have my sympathies.
Thanks for reading.
March 9, 2010 at 3:24 am
Regarding squat toilets: I think it would be fun to at least be proficient at it (like, good enough to the point where you don’t have to strip everything waist-down). I fear the splatter from shotgun dumps though, so I’d only do it if there weren’t much pressure built up.
March 9, 2010 at 8:11 am
I think that was my main concern: Never having used one before, I may be setting myself up for a nasty surprise in my clothes. But I’ve checked out diagrams since then. I think I could do it now.
March 9, 2010 at 1:45 pm
LOL shotgun dumps. That is an awesome term.
March 9, 2010 at 3:25 am
I mean, you gotta increase your power level to hide it, yeah?
March 9, 2010 at 5:07 am
I’d agree with you about the “Western toilet training,” just looking at the image above I immediately think “using this is going to be weird/uncomfortable.”
Funny that they would put Western and Asian style toilets side by side. It’s such a dichotomy, the mini, hole-in-the ground toilet compared to the giant flush-monster Western toilet (if I’m imagining correctly). It’s like small Asian cars versus giant Western (primarily in the U.S. though) SUV / trucks.
I wonder if there are those who prefer the Asian toilet to the Western one and why? Nobody has commented so far on their preference for an Asian toilet, but this blog is aimed at a Western audience after all.
March 9, 2010 at 8:09 am
Well, it’s a practicality issue. Depending on your handicap, you may not be able to squat, but sitting is easy for pretty much anybody. But I’ve seen some old-fashioned places that have just one Asian toilet and nothing else.
The people who prefer it, in my experience, are older folks. They make up a huge part of Japan, but maybe not so much of my commenting base.
Thanks for reading.
March 9, 2010 at 6:56 am
[...] so even 2DT has a Diary of an Anime Lived post and I never did one. This must be [...]
March 9, 2010 at 12:01 pm
Interesting though that many homes in Japan and Korea have much better ‘civilised’ toilets that comes with automatic water cleaning and air drying devices for your ‘sore’ and dirty hole. These squat-types are seen only in public toilet, which I think is fine, arguably lot more hygenic than seating ones. I have a friend who simply refuses to use western style public toilets, I’m not that paranoid but I do think you have to clean them well before using them (which kinda sucks if you’re in a hurry).
March 10, 2010 at 10:46 am
It’s true, Japan’s bidets are really something else. I would have liked to have had one at that time, I can tell you that.
Public toilets in America are probably worse, since to “protect” you they have sheets of paper liner, which do absolutely nothing and just add to the filth in the end.
On that happy note, thanks for reading!
March 9, 2010 at 5:05 pm
If I had to use a “Japanese-style” toilet, I would, but I would be annoyed by having to squat down to do so. Otherwise, no real problems with it.
March 10, 2010 at 10:47 am
You’re just a more natural human being than I am, I’m afraid.
Cheers.
March 10, 2010 at 1:09 am
I prefer squat toilets to seating toilets, as long as it’s less than 10mins.
Squatting does move your bowels faster and at extremes, have resorted to squatting on a seating toilet. (only at home) And to up the “uncivilized” ante, I wash up with running water instead of toilet paper, with my HANDS!
(A wet wipe works too)
I do wonder why people have aversion to squat/outdoor toilets. Even back in the army, a few chaps would rather hold it in for 3 days in the field than let loose in a hole in the ground. That can’t be be healthy…
March 10, 2010 at 10:49 am
Like I said, all training.
It’s really very terrible for my survival skills; I wish I wasn’t so hung up about it. But it made for a good entry.
Thanks for reading. And for… sharing. Your hands. Wow.
March 11, 2010 at 2:17 am
Oh, I forgot to mention that it’s running water + antiseptic soap. Toilet paper alone just doesn’t cut it.
A favourite analogy of mine. If crap fell on any part of your exposed body, would you wipe it of or wash it off? Something to think about the next time you’re on the crapper.
March 10, 2010 at 2:13 am
I was thinking over a post written to complain about how right after our awesome episode 7 we have an episode about Kanata waiting for a phone call and holding her piss for 23 odd minutes, but this post of yours is a much more tasteful way to look back at the episode.
Actually, considering the circumstances, tasteful is a bit of a wrong word.
I think Freud was truly right as much as he was wrong, and I just hate it when my religion class’ people bash on him at every given chance just because what he said was too brusque for their quaint little scripture. I think the desperate vigor they have when attacking him already proves something.
My dad in Zhuhai has one of those in his tiny flat too, and to flush it you poured water down it until what you didn’t want to see was gone. You happened to shower beside it – the shower was right in the middle of the bathroom, and the water from it flowed into the hole, so it was very multi-purpose.
And I happen to be reading this post over shepherd’s pie.
March 10, 2010 at 10:54 am
I’d love to talk more about Freud. His abandoned early theories about sexual abuse are actually more interesting and truthful than the stuff he came up with later. But it’ll have to wait until I find a suitable anime-related link.
I’m trying to be more open-minded about toilets after that incident in Kobe… but your dad’s bathroom sounds like a horror. A logical, perfectly efficient horror. Enjoy the meat pie.
Thanks for reading.
March 10, 2010 at 2:23 am
Haha… Too much information?
I grew up with those kinds of toilets but I haven’t seen them around much nor used one since I moved to the US. Looking back, they’re a bit awkward, no?
March 10, 2010 at 10:56 am
Well, I’m sure that to some old Japanese guy, the notion of putting your rear end on a place where hundreds of other people have put it is absolutely disgusting. But I won’t judge; they can have their toilets.
March 10, 2010 at 11:19 am
Ahh, when I was visiting Taiwan I definitely ran into my fair share of squat toilets… And I think you’ll find that it won’t be so bad if and when the time comes.
Thanks to anonymity I can say that when I had to number two, it really was easier than sitting! Or at least, it went by faster.
The biggest problem was definitely a lack of toilet paper; following my mother’s example (who, as native Taiwanese, was very used to squat toilets and the extreme lack of toilet paper!) I just kept a pack in my purse/pockets at all times, just in case.
So if anything, make sure you have that!
March 11, 2010 at 8:28 am
Well, fortunately toilet paper is quite abundant here.
But thanks for the tip, anonymous one.
March 11, 2010 at 7:11 am
I’d pick squat toilets over Western-style ones any day. Doesn’t help that lots of people here (Malaysia) leave their footprint marks on the toilet seats, not just in public toilets but even in my office. Still haven’t rooted out the culprit yet…
The reasoning behind not wanting to sit down on Western-style toilets is that you don’t know where the person before you has been or whether he/she’s got warts or some weird disease that you might catch. Yes I’m being serious, it’s something that’s been ingrained into our minds from a young age.
http://www.vagabondish.com/sign-sit-on-sitting-toilet-malaysia/ pretty much tells you about our toilet attitudes.
I guess tourists planning to come here should be warned that toilet paper isn’t always available and they’ll usually provide you with a hose. In my experience, most people here just use the hose (I prefer paper) and that annoyingly, results in very wet floors which theoretically means you could slip and end up with your head in undesirable places (it’s happened to me before).
Lol I can’t believe my first comment on this blog is about toilets.
March 11, 2010 at 8:31 am
Welcome to my blog! I’ve noticed a few hits coming from you, so I was wondering when you might stop by and comment. Er, sorry it had to be now, I guess.
It’s a fair assessment, the fear of catching disease. But I have (a perhaps undue) trust in my body’s ability to fight stuff off. Though I think I would pause, too, if I saw footprints.
Thanks for reading.
March 11, 2010 at 7:48 am
I have been reading your bathroom related anecdotes and musings for almost eight years now.
I have never been disappointed. They are the highlight of your work.
The funny thing about this is that under normal circumstances (the daily routine, not the SHE’S GONNA BLOW), the squat toilet is fine. You’re only squatting for a few minutes, then all’s well and good. It’s the “oh god will there be collateral damage” or the “I’m gonna be here for half an hour in anguish” situations that make the squat toilet seem like such an awful awful situation.
And lemme tell you, I’ve been in the latter circumstance.
March 11, 2010 at 8:33 am
You know, I’m happy you should say that, but at the same time it really makes me worry about the quality of my work in general.
The moment above was edging close to a SHE’S GONNA BLOW, but obviously not to the point where I wasn’t willing to hold it in and have an internal debate with myself. That’s just how neurotic I can get, I suppose.
I talked about toilets with my second-years today. It was a hit.
March 15, 2010 at 3:07 am
When I first started doing my military training, I had my first encounter with having to go to the bathroom when I was lacking just that. It was definitely… interesting. Thankfully, the MRE’s (meals ready to eat) that the military uses now come packaged with a tiny thing of toilet paper, so at least I didn’t have to resort to leaves as apparently was the manner in years past. But peeing in the woods is so much more difficult for women than men, as I found that the only way to ensure not getting my pants damp was to remove my boots and my pants in order to pee, a process that took a very long time, all things considered.
These days, I must confess, I have developed an alternate method – I pull my pants down slightly and use my canteen cup to catch my urine, which I then dump to the side. I use the little wet naps they have in the MRE’s as well as water to clean the cup afterward, but, needless to say, I have not used the cup for drinking purposes in a very long while.
October 8, 2010 at 4:41 pm
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