Idols in Love: The Blogosphere x The Idolm@ster (Final Part)

At last, it ends here.

Part 1

Part 2

Takatsuki Yayoi

The charm of Yayoi is her perfect sincerity.  She is an open book, which is why she needs someone who won’t take advantage of her naiveté, and who will appreciate her emotional frankness.  Schneider is just the right fit, a gentle person who appreciates the comforts of domestic life.  They would go grocery shopping for a home-cooked meal at the Takatsukis, ending with a family game of karuta – and, after her siblings have gone to bed, a little quality time on the couch.

Shijou Takane

Takane is odd.  If Iori is one end of the rich girl character spectrum, Takane is the other: A lady ever so slightly removed from normalcy.  Mefloraine, a meticulous and thoughtful person in her way, would savvy her eccentricities while keeping the Moon Princess down to earth.  On a chilly winter morning when Mef is artist-blocked, they would go to the beach to collect shells, sharing a thermos of chocolate tea and listening to the waves.

Amami Haruka

There is no formula to Haruka, no special hooks or idiosyncrasies, except an interest in music and a kind of glowing positivity.  Foshizzel is an ideal match; their mutual joie de vivre would reinforce itself.  They would eat at a MOS Burger, then hang out in a music shop, flipping through records and trying out the instruments.  Cynical onlookers will roll their eyes and tweet things like “Dear annoyingly happy couple in the guitar section, please GTFO,” while secretly being very jealous.

Hoshii Miki

Everybody wants Miki, but few are ready for her.  If you’re the kind of person who worries at all, her independence and devil-may-care laziness (and tendency to get hit on) is a sure recipe for meltdown.  Digitalboy, though, might be able to roll with her motion, while being relaxed enough to let her take care of herself.  They would visit a summer festival and go on a gut-busting gastronomic bender through the food stalls, ending with fireworks on the riverbank.

…

All of these ships are people I’ve gotten to know personally.  I’ve met them, heard their voices, worked with them.  I’m able to write about them because they’ve breached the boundary between virtually real and for-really-real.  This series doesn’t even begin to cover everyone.

If you’re looking for a rhyme and reason, here it is: 2011 has been unlike any other year for me, and it’s all thanks to you.  We’ve watched anime together, shared meals, made wonderful music on the blogosphere.  I feel immensely lucky, and I hope I’ve done the same for some of you.

Readers, fellows, friends: You are the light in my life.  Merry Christmas.

 

Idols in Love: The Blogosphere x The Idolm@ster (Part 2)

My mad shipper fantasies, continued.

Otonashi Kotori

Kotori knows how to make a man feel special.  Like static electricity, her femininity is subtle but attractive; it demands not just strength and assertiveness to make a good match, but also a certain sophistication.  Vucub Caquix has the right mix of gentility and masculinity to show her a good time.  They would go to a jazz bar for a drink: whisky soda for her, Scotch on the rocks for him…  and if he’s very, very lucky, she just might sing a little something, too.

Art by yachiwo.

Kikuchi Makoto

Makoto can be surprisingly sensitive.  Beneath enthusiasm and boyish charm, her heart says, “Appreciate me, reassure me, tell me I’m pretty and feminine!”  Yi, who can read mood like a musician reads music, would know just what to do to make Makoto feel like a lady.  They would go to a department store to model outfits, then hit the town for a night of club-hopping.  If that sounds a bit pedestrian, just wait — The morning-after breakfast is going to be fantastic.

Miura Azusa

Azusa craves romance.  Behind the fortune-telling and ditziness is a desire to fall truly, madly, deeply.  It’s girlish and it’s hopeful, and for the right person, utterly irresistible.  8C, the great unsung romantic of the blogosphere, would find his dream in her: An older woman for a younger man, a lover of love to match a lover.  He would take her on a drive to the pier, where they’d share a candlelit dinner, wait for sunset and ride the Ferris wheel, reaching the top just as the city lights go on.

Kisaragi Chihaya

To love Chihaya is to chase an invisible storm.  The trick is drawing down the thunder, getting her to reveal the passion beneath her stoic exterior.  With Akirascuro, she would find much-needed spontaneity, and he would find in her a massive wellspring of inspiration.  They would go to a midnight concert and walk through Tokyo all night, warming their hands with hot drinks from vending machines while talking about life and love, until sunrise or the first train — whichever comes first.

And speaking of Akira…  This next bit’s from him:

Minase Iori

“Iori is a girl of fine tastes. She’s also incredibly high-maintenance. She wants to be loved and pampered, and only the best can adequately address her needs. In return, she’ll shower her gentleman friend with unlimited amounts of love (and perhaps access to her trust fund). Wouldn’t she be a perfect girl for 2DT? He’s classier than everyone else around by miles, and he’s patient and caring enough to give Iori the love that she needs. She’s fun around people she likes, and her cheer and childish energy would further enrich his life.”

The final part of this series will be coming to you on Christmas Eve.  Stay tuned!

 

Idols in Love: The Blogosphere x The Idolm@ster (Part 1)

If you hate Internet community inbreeding posts, prepare for some quality teeth-gnashing.

Akizuki Ritsuko

The grand conflict of Ritsuko’s heart is that she invests so much in a Type A, go-getter professional life, when in love she yearns to be taken by the hand.  Passive would-be romantics need not apply; with Ritsuko, you must lead.  Ghostlightning would be the perfect dinner date, but his wife would have his head on a pike by morning.

Ganaha Hibiki

Hibiki’s love is gravitational.  In many ways the opposite of Ritsuko, she’s the stronger half of a relationship, a pillar of joy with unshakeable loyalty.  With AJtheFourth, Hibiki’s energy and overflowing genki-ness would be balanced with a fine-tuned sensitivity.  They would go to an aquarium to see the otters.

Hagiwara Yukiho

Here’s a needy girl.  Yukiho brings out the best in those who have not just a gentle touch, but also a touch of patience.  TWWK would make her feel safe, read her poetry and talk her out of digging holes.  They would visit a fashionable promenade for lunch and window shopping (Also, again: Wife, head, pike, et cetera).

Futami Ami

Ami is fun.  Ami is energetic.  A romance with this Futami twin demands an appetite for new things, a sense of adventure… or perhaps a sense of responsibility.  KylaranAeldin would be more than her match in both respects.  They would invade a karaoke center at noon and sing themselves hoarse until dark.

Futami Mami

Who loves the shadow?  Being with Futami Mami means not only having an eye for subtlety, but also a supportive personality, to shine light on beauty overlooked.  Bikasuishin/mt-i would make her feel loved and appreciated for who she is.  They would watch movies at his place, sharing a blanket.

 

“HNNNNG!” The Weird Science of Head Orgasms

Earlier today, I watched a video of Yayoi from The Idolm@ster going “uu-uuu!” on loop for ten minutes:

There’s another one floating around, where a girl from Yosuga no Sora gets her face rubbed vigorously while going “muni muni muni” on repeat.  (Go ahead; I’ll wait.)  If you stop to think about it, the fact that there’s a sizable audience for such videos is really, really strange.  But the ten-minute-moe-loop persists, and I think the explanation for why is simple: It just feels so good!

I don’t mean in a heartwarming way.  I’m referring to the nitty-gritty Pavlovian electronics of our bodies; i.e. pleasurable physical sensation.   Because sometimes, when you’re exposed to a certain sensation (like the sound of shuffling newspapers, or cell phone tapping), focusing on it will produce a sense of euphoria, which starts in the head and face and then moves throughout the body.  If you’ve got the right mix of stimuli, it can feel like a continual, humming full-body orgasm.

Among other things, watching or listening to someone eat can be a potent trigger. (Image source: Pixiv ID #21199527)

The phenomenon remains unofficial, as far as I know.  People who have experienced it call it the Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, or sometimes the Unnamed Feeling (“UNF” for short–  clever fellow, whoever thought that up).  But an informal survey says that it’s a lot more common than one might think, and it differs for each person.  One friend of mine gets the UNF from getting her hair brushed for her, while another gets his from Bob Ross painting videos.

We’re each of us a bizarre and fascinating mix of primal pleasure triggers.  Who’s to say somebody isn’t getting his fix from Yayoi?  From the looks of it, at least a few people are.

Postscript

Personally, I get it from the sound of eating watermelon.  That’s my kryptonite.  Lucky for me, some kind soul named Nyanners made a recording that I can put on my iPod and hereafter live in a perpetual state of bliss.  It’s–  you guessed it–  ten minutes long:

What’s yours?

 

The Struggle of Akizuki Ritsuko: Feminist Explorations of The Idolm@ster

Artist: Aerodog (Pixiv ID#20178801)

Schneider may have a top three that fluctuates week by week, but my number one in The Idolm@ster is always, always Ritsuko.  I knew from the first episode that she was going to draw me.  But why?

Perhaps because her job is so thankless.  Ritsuko refers to herself as a novice, but she’s been at Studio 765 longer than everyone except the chief, and she’s clearly doing all the heavy lifting.  She makes the schedules and herds the girls around, all so Mr. Producer can feel free to do his easygoing personal growth routine.  But Ritsuko doesn’t seem to mind being downgraded to a subordinate.  On the contrary, like some heroine of a shoujo manga, she’s determined to work hard and prove her worth.  She’s a true career woman, complete with glass ceiling.

Yes, but for what?

She’s also alone, with no professional allies.  The agency may be full of girls, but in time-honored Japanese tradition, all of them are working on borrowed time.  Even Ritsuko’s closest associate, Otonashi Kotori, is just an OL–  an “office flower.”  It’s a temporary job for young girls fresh out of college, pouring tea and filing the mail, and more often than not it ends in marriage.  And of course, no matter how much she likes the idols, Ritsuko should know very well that the shelf life of young aidoru isn’t long.

Taken all together, you can see The Idolm@ster as a microcosm of the working world for women in Japan: Unrewarded effort, dead ends and sugar-coated dreams of fame.  But Ritsuko isn’t a cynic, and that’s the amazing thing.  Even after having spent time as an idol, and now working her butt off at the studio, she continues to hope, and to believe in the future of her protégées.

I admit, in my male chauvinist heart of hearts, I really just want to protect her.  And I know that that’s the point, even if the creators behind The Idolm@ster had no intention of invoking arguments of gender equality at the workplace.  I’ve been duped.  But that’s something I can live with.

Further reading

The Wikipedia article on the Career Woman is surprisingly thorough.

Update: Author is further ahead in The Idolm@ster than I am, and has some thoughts to share.  (Mild spoiler warning applies.)

 

Colloquium: The Idolm@ster Episode 1 (feat. Yi of Listless Ink)

My next post is a collaboration with Yi of Listless Ink, hosted by the fine folks at The Untold Story of Altair & Vega.

Read it here.

Vucubcaquix and AJtheFourth are new to the scene, but in many ways they’re already hitting the ball out of the park.  By all means, check them out.